Many people begin looking at porn casually but after a while end up addicted to porn and the associated highs our bodies experience, particularly if masturbation is involved. What started as just a bit of fun can often become something that begins to control us. If this is something you are struggling with then you are not alone – many people struggle with this, men, women, young, old, married, unmarried, those who believe in a God and those who don’t. It’s all made so much more challenging now because any images or videos are only a click away!

It would be great to chat with you about things that will help you to beat this porn addiction.

We are all more than just a physical body, we also have feelings, emotions and a spiritual side to us. We really need to think about how to help the whole of us and not just our physical bodies. Here are some suggestions people have found helpful…

Why porn? 

It is good to think about why we do it and why we want to stop doing it. What is it that we feel we are missing that drives us to porn and masturbation, is there something we are trying to mask or cover up, something we are trying to run from? Also we need to be clear about why we want to stop – what is motivating you to want to break free? Motivation is important in breaking free from any addiction – why do you want to be free? Are you just hoping to stop for you? For someone else? For God? The stronger our motivation, and the more it isn’t just about us the greater the power our motivation has.

How? Where? When?

Think about how you most often access the porn – is it on a phone, a laptop, TV?

Think about where and when? Is it normally at night when you are alone in your room?

Opportunities to say no

Next time the temptation hits you might have the best intention to say no but it is so easy to make one slip. Look for ways to make it so that you have to lose the battle to temptation 4 or 5 times before you get to look at the porn. Place extra steps in your way to give you more opportunities to say no to the temptation. e.g. Leave your laptop outside your bedroom at night, remove the battery and place it high up on something you need a chair to reach, write a note and tape it to the laptop, shut the laptop or phone down properly. All of this would mean that if you are in your bedroom and you suddenly decided you wanted to look at porn you would have to (1) go out and get the laptop (2) go and get a chair and take it to the battery (3) climb on the chair and retrieve the battery (4) place the battery into your laptop (5) move the note you taped to your laptop. That’s five extra opportunities to say no and walk away from the temptation!

Win the battle earlier

If we fill our mind with things that increase our sexual appetite during the day then it is not surprising when we find it hard to say no to the temptation later. Be careful what you watch, what you read, what you look at, who you take a double look at when you pass them in the street. If we can win more of the small battles earlier in the day – we can win more battles later.

Think about the spiritual you

Do you believe there is a God? Have you ever spent time trying to learn about who Jesus is, what he did and why he did it?

When people believe that Jesus loves then and is interested in them it gives them a bigger picture of the world around them and of what life is all about. It gives them a new hope and a new focus outside of themselves. The more you get to know Jesus the more you will want to please Him and that will also become a great motivation to saying no to this temptation – Find out about Jesus for yourself.

Give yourself a new focus

Find something new to fill your free time, spend time with other people, start a new hobby, keep yourself busy, volunteer at something. Find new, rewarding things to do and people to make a difference to – the more the focus is away from you and onto others or God the better.

Positive rewards

Set yourself small step goals – 24 hrs porn free, 48hrs, 3 days, 1 week. Then keep something that you enjoy to do, read or eat and when you reach these targets give yourself the reward! Positive motivation is so important in wining battles.