Rape isn’t always by someone we don’t know, it can also be by a boyfriend or a husband. Sometimes it occurs when people have been drinking or on drugs, but if you said no or were not able to say yes, because you were too drunk or high then it is still rape.
When rape has happened you may feel a mixture of reactions inside like hurt, anger, fear, worry. Sometimes people who have been raped feel guilty because they feel that maybe they encouraged the person to begin with, or that maybe they deserved it.
Rape can happen to women and men, young girls and boys, married, unmarried, heterosexual and gay, those who believe in a God and those who don’t.
It would be great to chat with you and help you to recover from what has happened to you, to help you find more peace and hope.
You are more than just your physical body, there is also a spiritual part to you. You really need to think about how to help the whole of you recover from the ordeal you have been through.
It is easy to feel afraid to talk about an experience as personal as this because of a fear of being judged in some way by the person you tell. It is really important to find someone to talk to but it is also very important to choose someone that can be trusted with what you are sharing.
Is there someone you can trust to tell your story to? Maybe a parent, a close friend, someone at church? If you are not sure who to talk to choose someone mature, whose opinion you value, a church pastor would be able to suggest someone if you asked who would they recommend speaking to about something quite personal.
We are also very happy to chat with you about what has happened and how to recover – with us you can be as anonymous as you want.
Some people realise that this was something done to them which they had no control over, but many people – particularly if they have been raped by someone you know, feel guilty too. If this is how you feel, then one step you need to take is to either realise that you weren’t to blame.
Or if you find that too difficult to agree with, then try and forgive yourself for any small part you feel bad about because what ever small thing you did does not excuse the bad that was done to you!
To help yourself get past this you need to choose to let go of the blame you feel.
When something bad has happened to us in the past, it is easy for our mind to keep going back there, to keep replaying the images or the feelings. It is important instead for you to try and focus on now and that you are safe now, that this is something that is not happening now and that you have survived and can beat these feelings.
It is a good idea to decide on something that is a pleasant and nice thought and image – something that you can force into your mind instead whenever you notice your mind going back to the event. The Bible talks about taking every thought captive – the aim is to notice the replay beginning as early as possible and then force a different thought in its place.
Do you believe there is a God? Have you ever spent time trying to learn about who Jesus is, what he did and why he did it?
When you believe that Jesus loves you and is deeply interested in you it gives you a different picture of the world around you and of what your life is all about. It gives you a new hope and a new focus outside of yourself.
The more you get to know the real Jesus of the Bible, the more you will want to live to make Him happy and this will also then become a great motivation to saying no to the thing you are addicted to.